Love For Art, Love For God


It is yet another day in Southern California, and it rained today. Filled with grey skies and occasional showers, it was much different weather than last year this time around. Is it Climate Change? I know we don’t have the answers to everything, although many strive to accomplish some sense of a “demigod” status within society and claim to have them for the people, but they don’t. When their works are good, ethical, of clean nature, of service to others, without harm inflicted upon others, and mindful of our planet, THAT, is about the closest you can get to being God like. Never oppressing another, because in understanding this greatness, you understand that we were all created different, but equal.

In trying to accomplish a better “me”, a better sense of self, I can remember from about the age of 11-12, wanting the strife between my parents and my siblings to end. To have a “normal” family with eight children. To be more like the “Brady Bunch”, but we weren’t. Far from actually. I took it upon myself to order our first Catholic Bible. It was rather pricey, the era being circa 1980’s, with a cost of over $85.00. Well, when the salesman came to the door to deliver the bible, I took a step back to hope for the financial transaction between the salesman and my parents to take place. I was so scared because I knew they couldn’t afford it, but I strongly felt we needed it as a family. I admitted it was me who had ordered it. They were very upset because it was rather expensive, but I didn’t get punished for it. All I was after, was my family’s hearts to pursue God. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t read the bible with us, and it sat and collected dust for years.

In this last episode of Growing Pains, you get the understanding that I am on a path as I search for something more meaningful in life. That which is good, pure, and sincere, more associated with the teachings of Christ. I had taken on study sessions with the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) for over a year, searching, learning, deciphering scripture, with what God given illumination came forth through divine experience focused on me, the individual. Ultimately seeking the freedom, a true freedom to explore, feel, learn, taste, experience, love, nurture, to be in a state of mindfulness; the sound and feel of nature becomes a part of something much more deeper, sustaining YOU, the individual.

With my thoughts expanding and contemplating the depth of my ancestry, (in part due to my involvement and study sessions with the Church of Jesus Christ of Lattter Day Saints), I couldn’t help but ponder the depths of who I really was, which I find am a mix, just like most Americans.

My search for a much deeper meaning to life didn’t begin, or end with Catholicism, but rather expanded to a more subliminal nature. My hearts desire to harm no one, love all, cherish my home which is the Earth, and acknowledge that even ALL of this, as WE create, must certainly have a creator, just as code creates program, and we create art, through multi-faceted mediums which in these days integrate technology much more, even if it lacks “emotion” as it sits alone in a gallery. A technology which gives us the freedom to share information, surely as Artificial Intelligence collects data, so must a creator collect some sort of “data” on our history and decision making. Who would’ve known the Aztecs were also collectors of data (great at calendar keeping)!

When I think of God, I think of the God, which is inclusive of many (Gentiles), those who understand what the meaning of life may be; love from a pure heart, make decisions based on good conscience, and spread “light” in such a way which “illuminates” all others. This is the God I know, the God who was worshipped by King David, the God who is Father to Christ. There are probably more people in this world who come from the lineage of the House of David than know. This was information which entertained my mind in coming to these realizations. If there is a trace of Aztec in me on my Fathers side, although my Grandmother (mother’s side) was from Europe, it’s still a part of me.

So it looks like my video journals focused primarily on this divine search, and I’m happy to say that in the process, I found myself. And THAT, is special. Just like art is a language of freedom, so is the connection our hearts have with God, our creator. Seek to do good, to live in the light and never have anything to hide, nor feel shameful of. Love yourself, love life.

– Jax

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